what big eyes you have

Some heavy stuff has been weighing on my heart and I need to let it out. I contemplated posting something so personal here. Afterall, Leo’s never like to show their vulnerable side. But this blog isn’t read by many, and of those that I know read it…you’re all my friends/family and close to my heart.

Recently, I had my heart broken beyond what even I could comprehend. I turn inward when I am hurting because I have to figure it out on my own. {stubborn much?} But for me there’s always music to draw strength from. Melodies combined with killer songwriting/poetry are like my crack. I think that’s why I could never live without the sense of sound. I thrive on the expressive nature of music to convey my thoughts. It runs in the family…I learned music appreciation from my Father.

The one song that comes to mind during this sad time is “Bulletproof Soul” by Sade. She sings about unrequited love, being used, and transforming into a stronger person.

I was so in love with you
You rarely see a love that's true
Wasn't that enough for you
Wasn't that enough for you
I would climb a mountain
I wouldn't want to see you fall
Rock climb for you
And give you a reason for it all

You kept on thinking
You were the only one
Too busy thinking
Love is a gun
(The gun is a metaphor. You used my love as an advantage to hurt me.)

Hit me like a slow bullet
Like a slow bullet
It took me some time to realise it
(I saw the end coming, but to delay the inevitable pain-the slow bullet theory-I stayed with you.)

You keep on thinking
You were the only one
Too busy thinking
Love is a gun

I know the end before
The story's been told
It's not that complicated
But you're gonna need a bullet proof soul
(What goes around comes around and you have it coming to you.)

You keep on thinking
You were the only one
Too busy thinking
Love is a gun

I know the end before
The story's been told
It's not that complicated
But you're gonna need a bullet proof soul

You were trigger happy baby
You never warned me let me free
It's not that complicated
But you're going to need a bullet proof soul
Think you got it but you got all the trouble you need
I came in like a lamb
But I intend to leave like a lion
(I was naive, like a little lamb, but I grew stronger from this experience.)

It hit me like a slow bullet
It hit me like a slow bullet

Damn Sade. Thank you.