what big eyes you have

Its seems only fitting that my blog would have sumthin' to say about the Wolf Extravaganza going on over on Amazon.com (seeing that there's a wolf up there on my header...oh whatever...)


This shirt is pretty popular today...I think making it to the top seller. There have been hundreds of reviews written today about its awesomeness and ability to improve your life and stuff like that. For example...

Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.
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Once upon a time, I was a poor kid living in Hawaii with my moms, my dad had left us and gone back to Africa. I missed him terribly. One night I just looked up at the moon and said "Dad, if you're out there, one day I'm going to make you proud." I then burst into tears and howled at the moon, screaming with blinded rage and the unfair hand fate had dealt me. Out of nowhere, a mysterious old man with white hair and imobile arms appeared and said "my friend, I have a gift from your father." he proceed to hand me this t-shirt with 3 wolves, howling at the moon. "Like me", I thought to myself. Cut a long story short, I credit this inspiring moment with my becoming the first wolf President of the United States of America (and wolves). I still wear the t-shirt, albeit slightly tattered, in the oval office to this day. It's the one thing I wouldn't change.
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You know, I almost didn't buy this shirt. It's a little on the pricey side, and I recently lost my job at Skate Land due to the economy and all. Well, the economy, plus they said they were tired of me being late and holding my mouth under the nacho cheese spigot all the time. You try being on time when your mom forgets to wake you up even after you totally asked her to wake you up at 4:30. Anyway.
So finally the shirt came in the mail. I was real excited because me and Darren had planned to hang out at the Wal-Marts that night and I wanted to look good. This girl Misty that I've had my eye on was supposed to be there. I'm supposed to be dating Misty's cousin Shelby but she keeps saying she wants to live more of a fancy lifestyle. I'm pretty sure she's been cheatin' on me with Norm's brother Jason, who is probably going to be promoted soon at Sears.
Anyway, I got the shirt and put it on. I wore it with my overalls, but I didn't wear the overall straps because I wanted them to hang down so you could see the three wolves real good. I decided to finish off the look with some black tennis shoes. I made sure my mullet was extra-spiky and I was ready to go.
What can I say? Misty loved the shirt, and I also think Shelby was jealous. Every guy needs to buy this shirt, especially if you're single.
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This t-shirt goes brilliantly with my cologne 'Sex Panther' - it's actually made out of real bits of panther.
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I received this screen-printed cotton dream the other day. I put it on, taking care not to disturb my perfectly coiffed mullet. I, too, felt strange and amazing things happening to me. I looked at myself in the mirror, and much to my surprise I didn't see Michael J. Fox standing there. I saw Justin Timberlake. I immediately humped my ego into submission. And had a cigarette. Menthol, of course. Pure sexy. True.

Anyways, its kind of hard to deny its appeal. Obviously. I was looking at the picture above so I could save it for this post and, I kid you not, I actually had someone come up behind me at work and ask where he could get one. So, truthfully, it does attract the opposite sex. However, this dood, known as Mr. Pervy around the office, only stopped long enough to ask where he could get one for his grandson, so, I didn't land a date out of it...oh well, next time!